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Lisa had been our partner in volleyball for the entire two week vacation, and in that time, she had never removed her thong bikini. We doubted that she, and indeed, any of the girls, had packed anything aside from bathing suits for the trip. We discussed the state of that apparel, nestled firmly between her two buttcheeks. She had been sweating in the sun, crawling through the sand, and probably sleeping in the sparse fabric. Hygiene was a concern. We speculated on the scent of the garment. Had the constant use altered its texture, its flexibility? We frequently sent Lisa new bikinis as gifts in hopes that she’d change out of her dirty duds. Alas, she refused each time.

On the final day, before leaving the island, we received two wrapped presents from Lisa. In the first; the most recent substitute swimsuit we had sent her, obviously not to her favour. In the second, much to our horror, was the thong bikini that had adorned her for the entire length of the vacation. We were aghast. What was she wearing at that moment?

  • The free to play game Dead or Alive Xtreme: Venus Vacation just launched in open beta via Steam. Even more intriguing is the fact that the game supports English subtitles, on top of Korean.
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CHESTICLES

So, here we are again. Dead or Alive: Xtreme 2 — note the lack of “Beach Volleyball.” Despite the shorter subtitle, the game is very much a direct sequel to Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball. The tale begins with Zack resurrecting Zack island, the setting from the first game, from its resting place at the bottom of the ocean. Then he invites the girls from the Dead or Alive series to spend two weeks at his resort, which they do, because apparently they have really short memories and can’t remember the first time he tricked them into going.

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From there, it’s second verse same as the first. Each day is divided into portions that can be spent either trying to win the respect of the other ladies on the island through the universal language of gifts or participating in events. Beach volleyball is still an option, but on top of that and the returning pool hopping, there’s additional events like butt bouncing and the world’s deadliest waterslide. Most notably there’s jet ski racing that plays a bit like a crappier, more scantily clad version of Wave Race.

Despite what the abbreviated subtitle suggests, beach volleyball is still the most fleshed out and worthwhile event in the batch. Most of the mini-games have the depth of an event in Track & Field, and the jet ski racing, while decent enough, is a bit too shallow to actually be engaging for more than a few races. It also doesn’t pay as well as volleyball.

The only outlier is the waterslide, which is only worthwhile because of how ridiculous it is. I’ve never actually been able to fully complete the slide, since the girls rocket down it like greased hogs in a wind tunnel. The slide doesn’t close off in turns, so you have to steer the ladies so they don’t go flying to their certain doom. Obviously, Zack didn’t have his resort inspected for safety.

KNOCKERS

Aside from additional events, what has changed? Less than you’d imagine.

The graphics have improved to the point where they’ve actually aged decently. The women look detailed, though they’re obviously still using the same skeletal animation system from the previous game, resulting in the awkward diaper-pelvis crotch bulge. The biggest change has been to the jiggle physics applied the the girls’ breasts. Xtreme 1’s physics weren’t exactly grounded in reality, but for the sequel, it’s gone completely off the deep end.

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The breasts appear like they’re filled with something only slightly heavier than air. Onmc kodi. They float in an exaggerated way, ignoring gravity, settling at a speed much slower than the rest of the woman’s body. The slightest movement will send them jiggling with dangerous velocity, which must make it difficult for the girls to maintain balance. They often move in opposite directions, ignoring whatever momentum is currently affecting their sister mammary. Yet when the ladies lie on their backs, their breasts maintain their globular shapes, while their consistency suggests they should fall directly into their armpits.

The result is something that’s laughably disturbing, far removed from the stimulation that developers had obviously intended. My husband and I would often substitute our own sound effects for their violent motions, and frequently voiced our concerns for the well being of the girls’ lower backs.

On the other hand, the butts featured in the game have no such physics applied, which leaves no questions about the developers’ preference of body parts.

THE TWINS

The volleyball itself has been tweaked. It’s largely the same, but it’s a lot pickier. In the previous game, you could be on the other side of the court, hit a button, and your character would snap over with a catch. This time around, you’d better be under the ball (which isn’t always easy because of the camera angle and a general lack of depth perception), and even then, success isn’t guaranteed. In fact, smashing the ball requires your girl to automatically decide to jump into position, which sometimes doesn’t happen, leading to periods of confusion. Your partner also has a habit of smashing the ball into the net, which isn’t far enough removed from reality to be an issue.

Really, though, it’s a mixed bag. The first DOAX was a bit too easygoing about its volleyball, and this was obviously an attempt to address that problem. It’s not always successful, but, overall, it’s about as fun as it was in the original.

CUPCAKES

Aside from that, the game is basically the same as the first. Coming over directly from the first game, everything is extremely familiar. The UI is essentially unchanged, most of the backgrounds are simply shiny updates from the previous game, and there’s only one new girl to choose from. It’s about as straightforward as you can get with a cross-generational sequel.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. To be fair to DOAX2, I enjoyed my time with it a lot more than I did with the original title. It’s far from perfect, but there’s enough variety on hand and side activities to participate in that it takes a while to become tiresome. Free download of google chrome for mac. The exaggerated physics and ridiculous garments featured caused more concern from me than arousal, but its ridiculously shameless attitude is, at the very least, pretty entertaining. I could see myself going back to it in the future, so I feel I can recommend it.

6/10

This review was conducted on an Xbox 360 using a physical disk copy of the title. This was paid for by the author.

Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 follows on from where the second game left off. This time they had the power of the PlayStation 4 and the PlayStation Vita to mess around with. It is worth noting that the PC and the Nintendo Switch would also get a port. If you liked the other games in the Xtreme series then I do feel that this one is worth playing, even if it does not have as much meat on the bone.

Whose Island?

The game is once again set on an island paradise, but this time players can create their own island. There is very little story here, each girl does have her own “motivations” however, not as much time or effort was spend on that here as it was in Dead or Alive Xtreme 2. That is not to say that Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 is a bad game or any tying, it just feels a bit more rushed in this regard.

The Beach, The Babes, The Boobs!

It goes without saying that this is an absolutely stunning game. I do not feel that the leap is as big from 2 to 3 as it was 1 to 2. However, this is a game that could not be any easier on the eyes. If you have played any Dead or Alive game before and had a thing for some of the characters, you are in for a real treat here. Especially with the amount of control that the game gives you over the camera. Each girl can wear many different outfits and you can unlock outfits for other girls, but without going on a massive grind which is something I liked. The different locations also look great and being able to make your own island does allow you to put your own spin on things.

More Of The Same

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I loved the second game and thought it really did improve on what the first game started. With Dead or Alive Xtreme 3, I do feel that they rested on their laurels here and felt people would play the game just for the boobs. This game does once again have the volleyball aspect that we all know and love. The last game tightened things up and made it more skill-based and it is pretty much the same on offer here.You also have the same mini-games as before such as beach flag and butt battle. They just do not offer enough new here in terms of the actual gameplay to make you get really excited. Do not get me wrong, what is on offer here is great stuff and there is plenty of interaction you can do with the girls. However, I would have liked a whole host of new mini-games as this was made for a new generation of console.

I know that this may have sounded like a negative review, but I did actually enjoy my time with Dead or Alive Xtreme 3. It does what it does very, very well. The graphics are certainly an improvement over what the second game offered due to the power of the hardware it was made for. I just wish that they added in some more new content as it fees like the second game, but with better graphics.

Pros:

  • The DOA girls look better than ever before here
  • I liked the tan and swimsuit malfunctions
  • You have to see these boob physics!
  • All your favorite DOA ladies are here
  • Your favorite mini-games are included

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Cons:

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  • Not enough new content here
  • I have heard the Switch version struggles a great deal

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Overall rating: 8.5